MARITAL-RELATIONSHIP CLARITY Coaching

You’ve been going through the motions, keeping up a brave front for everyone else but behind closed doors things are tense and confusing. Something is amiss and you don’t know what to do about it. You sense a void in your relationship that you can’t fully identify or fix no matter how many things or how hard you try. It is a rollercoaster of emotions. In one moment you are determined to fix it and make it work and in the next you feel hopeless to change anything.

You go from feeling frustrated to scared, to panicky, to angry to resentful then plummeting into guilt and sadness. Sadness that the relationship you committed yourself to is not what you believed or hoped it would be. Not what you need it to be.

You are left feeling isolated and alone and you don’t know who you can talk to about this. You quietly observe other couples comparing your relationship trying to figure out what it is you don’t have. At times you feel resentful or envious of their chemistry, connection and consideration for one another, longing for the same in your relationship.

You question if ideal relationships really exist and if they do, can they exist for you? Do romance and spontaneity really exist beyond the initial lust of a new relationship? Or is this a phase most couples go through and how do we get through it? Can we get through it? Is this just the way marriage feels? Is this what happens after you’ve been together a while? Is the stagnation repairable or is it a symptom of irreconcilable differences?

You may even wonder “Are our problems real or is it just me?” It seems like you have turned yourself inside out trying to make this relationship better. Yet you still go around and around in a circle, treading the same rough waters again and again. It is confusing and exhausting.

Things are complicated even messy. Tension is escalating; arguments, cold shoulders, accusations, possibly one of you is sleeping on the couch and intimacy is non-existent or few and far between. If there is intimacy it is mechanical, detached and lacks tenderness and connection and instead of making you feel better you feel worse.

You feel more like roommates than lovers. There is obligation but no unity. Maybe you tell yourself you are staying together for the kids, or because you’ve invested so many years and you wouldn’t even know how to begin again or maybe because the lifestyle works, you’ve got a good life together and you don’t want to lose that. Or there is the fear of what it will do to your image, what will people think? Your friends, family, co-workers, business associates, the church, the community, what will everyone say? And what about splitting assets and the money? Maybe you want out but you have no idea how you will make it work without your spouse’s income. These are all very legitimate concerns.

You have so many questions; is it going to be any different or any better out there? Is there anyone else out there for me or will I be alone forever? What will my future look like? Is this a matter of boredom and the grass-is-greener conundrum? Or are my yearnings legitimate? Are there essential relationship needs, what are they and is my relationship meeting them? How can you know when a relationship is worth saving? When it can be saved or that it will never change? Have I tried enough? How much compromise is reasonable and how much is taking advantage? What behaviour is considered crossing the line and unacceptable? Is the way I am being treated normal? What if there has been betrayal, deceit or infidelity? Can a relationship survive infidelity? And if it can- how?

Maybe you feel helpless to change the situation because your spouse has or is about to check out of the relationship and you don’t know what to do or how to handle the situation or the emotions you are feeling – anxiety, overwhelm, confusion, desperation, fear, rejection, helpless, powerless, alone.

Possibly you are wrestling with guilt because you don’t feel the way about your partner you wish you did, maybe you fantasize about leaving but fear the reality, possibly there is attraction to someone else and all of this is causing you great anguish and confusion. You don’t know if you can revive your relationship or if you even want to. Has there just been too much water under the bridge? Have the attempts you made changed nothing? Is it a case of a little-too-late for you or your partner?

The confusion is consuming and taking its toll on you, you know something has to change but you may not know what. You need help deciding should I stay or should I go? Can my relationship be saved or is it time to consider an exit plan?

This strikes fear in you. The thought of making that decision is daunting. What will people say? How will it affect our kids? How do you know when it’s time to end a marriage? These are all BIG questions that this program will help you clarify so that you can make the best individual decision for yourself.

This program is for you if:

• You are experiencing relationship distress
• The pain and confusion you are experiencing is overwhelming and consuming
• You are on-the-fence and stuck in relationship ambivalence
• You are caught in a cycle of making up then breaking up
• One moment you are fed up and want to flee the next you are determined to make it work
• You cycle from hopeless, anxious and fearful to resentful and angry
• You have tried many things to fix your relationship but nothing has changed or lasted
• You are going through the motions with each other
• You are keeping up appearances yet feeling hollow inside
• You feel ambiguous towards your spouse
• You question what is ‘normal’
• Communication between you and your spouse is strained or hurtful
• Arguments or avoidance have become commonplace
• There has been infidelity or you suspect infidelity
• You feel alone in your relationship
• Intimacy is lacking or unfulfilling
• You yearn for mutual love, respect and tenderness
• The fear of the unknown is keeping you stuck
• The ripple effect out into your family, friends, community, church, career paralyzes you
• Indecision plagues you
• You feel scared to change things yet you know they can’t stay the same
• Life feels confusing and contradictory
• You are starting to question your own sanity
• You wonder if there is something wrong with you? Wrong with them?
• You’ve reached a relationship impasse
• You are exhausted from indecision
• You don’t know what to do
• You want an end to the cycle of confusion you are feeling
• You are ready to get honest about your relationship
• You want to stop waiting for things to get better and take pro-active steps to know what is better

This is a seven session program completed over two months and includes:

• Focused 55 minute private coaching sessions
• Private email access to me during office hours throughout the duration of your program
• Compassionate, supportive and straight forward coaching to help you take stock of your relationship and gain a full-picture perspective of what is truly going on in your relationship so that you can see with clarity what is the right decision for you
• Definitive questions that will help you determine the health and viability of your relationship to know if your relationship can or should be resuscitated or if it has served its purpose and it is now time to move on

The clarity gained from this program will give you the courage you need to revive your relationship or release it with love as well as the next steps to take to move your relationship and life forward.

This program is $950 (two payment option of $500)

To ensure the highest quality of one-to-one support and coaching I only work with nine private clients at a time.  To apply to work with me privately please EMAIL ME HERE.

Once I have received your email I will be in touch with you within one to two business days. If all one-to-one private coaching spots are currently filled you will get the option of securing the next available opening or joining the “first to know” list to be notified if a spot becomes available.

Contact me to get started!

 RETURN TO ALL COACHING PROGRAMS